Control and Grace

The Serenity Prayer is such a wonderful reference at times like these.  

The Four Agreements is also a very useful tool. 

So much is out of our control and that's a hard thing to accept sometimes.  Loved ones die, disappear, hurt you.  Life's little disasters crop up with distressing regularity. Work stress ebbs and flows, but mostly flows.  

It's okay to feel what you feel, but it's important to remember you DO get to decide how you respond to the feelings, the world, and the people around you.  

Basically, if it sucks and you can fix it, fix it.  If it sucks and you can't fix it, understand that being angry won't help and try to find the good.

I got a flat last week in one of my newer tires.  I had been saving up to buy two new tires.  The flat was on the sidewall of course, so I had to replace one of the tires I didn't plan to need to replace.  I was not happy, but instead of being angry all day, I took time to be grateful I had the money to do what needed done.  Did that erase the hole in my budget? Nope.  But I had a budget to draw from.  

One of the Four Agreements is to not take things personally.  This changed my life.  I am a big sister, a people-pleaser, an idealist and a peacekeeper.  Combine all of those and you get an anxious ball of nerves who blames themselves for every damn thing.  Taking that step back and recognizing that things aren't about me really helps.  I don't burst into tears when random strangers are mean to me anymore.  It can't possibly be personal because they don't even know me. I can choose to be empathetic, cool, completely dispassionate. Whatever the situation warrants. 

It's nice to keep growing a little more everyday.  Age truly is a gift.  Be gracious to you today.  

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