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Control and Grace

The Serenity Prayer is such a wonderful reference at times like these.   The Four Agreements is also a very useful tool.  So much is out of our control and that's a hard thing to accept sometimes.  Loved ones die, disappear, hurt you.  Life's little disasters crop up with distressing regularity. Work stress ebbs and flows, but mostly flows.   It's okay to feel what you feel, but it's important to remember you DO get to decide how you respond to the feelings, the world, and the people around you.   Basically, if it sucks and you can fix it, fix it.  If it sucks and you can't fix it, understand that being angry won't help and try to find the good. I got a flat last week in one of my newer tires.  I had been saving up to buy two new tires.  The flat was on the sidewall of course, so I had to replace one of the tires I didn't plan to need to replace.  I was not happy, but instead of being angry all day, I took time to be grate...
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The Broken Way

They say misery loves company and I think that's true enough.  They also say like attracts like.  Also true.  We Broken Ones always find a way to each other and we navigate the twists and turns the best we can.  We try to be supporters without being enablers and usually fail terribly at this.  But we try.  We're all Broken in different ways, you see, but we all tend to react the same, don't we? The secret to our addiction isn't the thing we're addicted to, but whatever drove us to self-medicate in the first place.  In some cases, that driving force is so brutal and ugly that facing it feels like literal death. Some face that specter and overcome.  But some just can't.  So, what to do? I keep a list of resources.  Shelters, suicide hotlines, poison control, the local police station, etc.  I reach out, check in, ask if I can, how I can help. I don't drink with my alcoholic friends.  I don't do drugs with my drug addicted friends....
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My Lost Girl

It's a story you've already heard a million times and it starts like so many do: Heard it from a friend who... Tagged me on FB Messenger to tell me our mutual friend had died. The mutual friend who I'd spoken to a couple of weeks ago.  The mutual friend who fell into a bottle and couldn't find the way out.  The mutual friend who'd just completed her inpatient rehab after so many years of denial.   The one who always called to check in. Who told you if your jeans made your butt look big, or that your tag was out, or that the man you were with was an asshole, or that you were beautiful even when you weren't.    There's a hole in my life where she lived and it hurts too much to fill it or cover it up because to do that would mean I have to let go. And I'm just not ready.   I don't know how she died, but I don't have to.  She'd been increasingly ill and frail.  We knew it would happen sometime, but not today. No, not yet.  So, the grief...
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